This Beautifully, Awful Life

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This senseless fight
The pain to continue
How can we get through
This beautifully, awful life

Struggling for my sanity
My fear, my sins, my hate
Clawing at my heart and soul
Tearing me apart bit by bit

Destroying my being, my mind
Feeling cold and forgotten
Weary to the bone
I find myself talking
To nothing but a ghost

My heart fills empty
Stuck in my own
Personal hell
Mad at myself
Abandoned and lost

How silly I have been
How silly I was
When I am the
Only one to blame

There is only ever a dawn
And ahead of me
Is this beautifully, awful life

Posted by

Not much to tell, antisocial, bipolar, loner, poet. That's me in 4 word's.

13 thoughts on “This Beautifully, Awful Life

    1. Yes it is new but the feelings are not, some days I look in the mirror and I see no reason for me to be. No one to love or love me back, just empty days and empty nights(I think that is words from a old country song) empty days and empty nights lol……my life is a old sad country song, hell now I know I have it bottom!

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      1. fake it until you make it! To hell with all that. If you ain’t happy with you, there’s no man going to make you happy. Wherever you go, there you are! But I’ll stick with you and your writing whenever I can 😉

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      2. My sadness and feeling empty have nothing to do with the loss of love for a man. I kicked my cheating ass husband out and never looked back. My Beautifully, Awful Life is about the death of my son, in a abstract round about way. All my dark depressing poems come from those feelings. And please don’t be sorry, you had no way of knowing.

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      3. If you are talking about God please don’t, I don’t talk to him and he does not talk to me. Besides I really think he is a ancient alien.

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      4. no, I am talking about meditating to reach him. I figured you already had that issue with God. Or a medium. I really believe some have the power to transcend death.

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      5. Sorry do not believe in talking to the dead, Andrew is gone. But I know what he would say to me anyway. He would tell me he loves me, that it was not my fault and I need to let him go. But it was my fault , in a round about way, and how do I let him go when part of my heart went with him?

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      6. I see. Meditate on it, if you let yourself, the rest of your heart will mend. I guess other than that I am out of my limited suggestions

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      7. Time does not heal all wounds, you just make room for the pain and sadness that are now a part of you. It never leaves you, it never stops hurting, but you just put on your fake smile and tell everyone you are fine.

        Everyone wants you to get over it, you have grieved long enough, like there is a time limit on grief. So you just keep it inside and don’t talk about it to anyone, you put on your fake smile and let them think whatever makes them happy, because someone should be happy and it is not going to be me.

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      8. I don’t choose to be unhappy, I do not wake up in the morning and say, I think I will be sad today. Every morning I get up and put one foot in front of the other and just keep going and that is me being happy.

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